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Dumb ways lawbreakers get caught

File this column away in the “D’ya ever notice?” folder.

I’ve been writing, and many of you have been reading, what the business used to call the “police blotter” for more years than, well, more years than many of you readers have been alive.

Hometown crime has evolved somewhat over those decades. Now if you beat your wife, it isn’t “your business” anymore. Illegal substances people are caught with have transformed from moonshine to methamphetamine. In fact, I’ve seen more moonshine at Christmas parties than I ever saw seized by the authorities.

One constant remains and it has to do with what we’ll term “lack of foresight” when it comes to stupid things lawbreakers do to get themselves caught. Helping police do their job, if you will.

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Change your life; quit today

I’m a man of many vices — bad sci-fi and horror movies, pizza, beer, shoes, the list goes on. But one vice I kicked to the curb some five years ago was smoking.

I was never a heavy smoker. Even after 10 years I couldn’t puff away a whole pack in 24 hours without some help. I was nearing 30 years old and needed to get healthier, lest I end up six feet under before my time. That and the love of a good woman was enough motivation for me.

I’m not going to get all preachy on you about the dangers of smoking and other tobacco use. Suffice it say, tobacco use will shorten your lifespan. It’s a scientific certainty.

It’s also a certainty that while smoking rates in Baker County have fallen in the last decade or so, many folks still smoke. According to 2010 survey data, about 20 percent of adults, or one in five, reported smoking.

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Pointless spending is not limited to football coaches at Whitey’s

Appalled doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt after reading the article about Coach Sulkowski using the school district credit card for dinner at Whitey’s Fish Camp. The use of a school district vehicle for him to go to a weightlifting meet in addition to the school bus carrying the team isn’t as bad, but still annoys me. The alcohol purchase is more or less icing on the proverbial cake of wasted tax payer dollars.

I’m not picking on Coach Sulkowski as I can’t believe it’s a problem restricted to just the football coach. I’m sure coaches in other sports have the same freedoms, at least the ones that bring in the most money. The poor tennis, swim and track coaches are second tier. No free dinners at Whitey’s for you guys.

The discussion from the administration on down about lack of funds for the classrooms is a constant hum these days. I’ve been to Whitey’s and besides the fact it’s a heck of a drive from anywhere, it’s not cheap. So once you factor in dinner for three, drinks and a district vehicle you could easily be looking at over $150.

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